Typical morning after work, went home for a few. Moved the cars around for garbage day :P always sucks but better than a ticket I suppose. Hanging with my long time bud Fro (Shawn) down the street and helping him clean up his house whilst having a beer.

Good times. Sleep sounds nice. @.@

Consider this my welcome back to LJ post, I'll be posting again and writing my thoughts on a regular basis. I think my LJ account missed me. <3 I know Ive missed it.

As of right now its about nap time for me, should be up again around 9:30 Pm then heading to work shortly after that.

I leik goin Fasssst <3

Penis... That is all D:

The secret side of me, I never let you see
I keep it caged but I can't control it
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it

It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can't control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

My secret side I keep hid under lock and key
I keep it caged but I can't control it
'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp
There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart
No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream
Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

There is no way to really explain it, its one of those feelings about life you get when you have overcame anything and everything the world has had to thrown at you.. From family to friends, allies to enemies, lovers to haters, sweethearts to assholes.. You live and you learn, you are only as good as the company you keep, the ideals you live your life by as well as the person you are.. I myself since oh... I dunno, 2 - 3 months ago have completely deconstructed and rebuilt myself as a better, more stable and responsible person in a lot of respects. Turning 21 today has made me think about a LOT of things and honestly.. I'm content with being myself, but in being myself the only person that should or could have the power to improve me (in any way) should be me, and I should want to improve for myself before anyone else.. As selfish as that is to say, sometimes being selfish protects yourself when it comes to what you want in life.. I guess what I am really trying to say is..

What you see is what you get.. nothing more, nothing less.

Love me for who I am (or can be), and what I will be in the future, Or just hate me..

Either way, I wont let it bring me down.

Thank you to all my friends who wished me a happy 21st B-day at work this morning via text, I'm glad I was in all of your thoughts, and hope to be for many years to come.

At any rate, FCN is going to basically be my birthday bash...

Come one, come all! And feast your eyes on the amazingly smashed wolf!

Lets make it a good con shall we?

~Hav

Yep, I will be there.. also... I turn 21 three days before con time ^^

F*ck Yes *Grins*

~Havoc <3

Well, I cant believe I'm saying this :) but thanks to the help of some good friends.

I will be seeing you all in Atlanta this weekend, FWA is a GO! :D

Time for some much needed sleep.. Ive been up since 3 pm Yesterday @_@

Zzzzzzzzzzzz

~Dev

My work schedule lately has been ruling my life, but that's not a bad thing when your eye balls deep in debt I suppose lol. As of now I'm getting 2 days off a week (Fri&Sat) which isn't terrible I guess but I'm certainly looking forward to hitting my 90 day mark of full time since I get bomb ass insurance benefits, a 401k plan and another raise on top of the one I just got. In the last week Ive worked 46 hours and anything after 40 is time and a half w00t! But yeah, super happy about my first "Full" paycheck today considering it was about $650.

Outside of work I still cant exactly place myself emotionally after recent events.. But the important thing is no matter how bad things are or could be, I'm growing stronger from it every day and moving on slowly but surely. Sure, I have a few unsettled feelings here and there.. but about the only thing I can do is keep working hard and improving myself and in time, they will work themselves out.

But anyways, I'm rambling and people want me to do more drinky drinky and less typing lol.

Now its time to sit back, celebrate, relax and git Drunk with good friends. :)

Cheers! Be see'in You all at FCN!